The joke that is my life has played yet another trick on me this year. I won’t go into details about the trick because, frankly, it’ll just make me mad all over again and someone will probably get fucked up over it. What I will say is that I’ve learned a few lessons this year. Okay, perhaps they’re not lessons. They’re more like observations. Nevertheless they’ve only made my life more complicated. I’d like to share these obserlessons with you. Please take heed and learn from my mistakes. I know I’m talking to a brick wall, but at least there will be something new on this blog. I think we can all agree that this well is dry.
Anyhow…here are some life-lessons from a loser.
-Everyone who has never done it will try to tell you how to do it. Don’t’ be fooled! If your friends are in really fucked up relationships, never had any lasting friendships or can’t even keep a job; please don’t ask them for advice. You’re only facilitating your own demise. I know it makes too much sense, but if you need advice on something, get it from someone who actually has some experience with whatever it is you need advice on. Would you ask a homeless man for career or real estate advice?
-Mind your own damn business. I know it’s hard. You’re driving down the street and you see a horrific accident. You just have to look, then POW!…You run into the car in front of you. The police come over to help, run your tags, realize they’re suspended and now you’re being carted off to jail…all because you didn’t mind your own damn business. This is not unlike life. If your friends have issues, be a friend. Listen to them vent, get them drunk, watch them cry; but stay the hell out of it. A relationship is between two people…not 4…not 8. Once other people are added to the midst of your issues everyone involved becomes a part of the issue. If I’m apart of this group this means that all cars involved are getting vandalized…all asses whupped…and a whole lot of personal information is going to be divulged via social networks. See how quickly a small issue between two people can get out of hand just that quickly? Not to mention, you’ve dragged your friends into your mess only to eventually work it out with your partner. Now what? Now your friends and your partner hate one another and your life is more miserable than it was to begin with.
-You know who… needs to know who is who. Sounds easy right? Okay…it sounds complicated, but it’s really easy. I think that most of us can say that we know our parents are our parents, our lovers our lovers, and our friends our friends. However, knowing who they are is ineffective if they don’t know who they are. Not only do you need to know who is who, but you need to let them know who they are too. When a friend oversteps their boundaries with a lover or a parent, put your foot down the 1st time and let them know it won’t be tolerated. I guarantee you that you will only have to do this once and you will not lose your friend over it. However, if you fail to do this, you’ll have much bigger problems in the long-run. Not only will you possibly lose your lover, but you’ll lose your friend too.
-Men…be men. I know you all like to say you’re men; and we truly want to believe that. But quite often you exhibit characteristics that contradict that. Don’t let anyone do something to you that they wouldn’t let you do to them. If they wouldn’t let you disrespect a loved one of theirs, don’t let them disrespect a loved one of yours. Men stand up for the people they love, men protect those that need protecting, men don’t let other people fight their battles, men don’t try to fight the battles of others, and most importantly, men don’t have to try to be men…they just are. If you realize that you’re being less than noble, acknowledge it and fix it. Don’t try to justify it or sweep it under the rug. That’s how things never get fixed. Know your flaws and work on them. Be you…don’t try to fit in. The most revered people are those who know who they are and try to be nothing other than that.
-Women…be women. Grow up, stop being catty, mind your fucking business…and for goodness sake cook something. We have a tendency to spend so much time worrying about other people’s lives that we don’t even realize how messed up our own lives are. Or perhaps we spend so much time in the lives of others because we know just how jacked up ours is. Either way, it’s only a temporary fix. Meddling in mine isn’t going to fix yours. At the end of the day you still have to go back to that cold cold home. It’s just like getting high…it’s only a temporary distraction. It will wear off. Then you’ll spend your life chasing the next meddle to distract you from your own issues. Stop being a junky and get your shit together.
-If you’re a real friend…call a nigga out! When your friends are wrong let them know! Nothing is worse than a group of enablers who are equal parts enabler and enablee. Okay, I made up the word enablee…but you get the point. The reason so many of us are damaged beyond repair is because nobody ever called us out when the damage was fixable. If nobody ever tells you you’re wrong, you never know what you need to fix. It’s like noticing a big nasty booger in my nose but not telling me it’s there. You just gonna let me walk around thinking I’m cute with that crap hanging from my nose? Now everyone is looking at me thinking “Smh…she ain’t got no real friends.” What kind of friend are you??? Why the fuck can’t you let me be great?
…I have more to share, but frankly I’m tired of typing. So I’ll end it with that. If you have anything to add feel free to do so in the comment section.
Don’t be reckless in my comment section either…I will embarrass you.